That's intense
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
