I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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