Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
