never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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