some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
