that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
