So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
