I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
