I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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