Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
