Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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