Swine flu. Run for my life!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize