That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
