I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
