Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There was a lot of him and a little penis
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, beer. Big fan.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
