I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
