you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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