so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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