I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
