Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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