Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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