That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
