i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
