very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
