I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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