threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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