Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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