hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
