The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
