you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
