just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
