I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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