Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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