I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
