Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
