Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it glows. i had to have it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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