I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
