I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
