He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
