So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize