If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize