It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
