so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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