It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
