I will die if light touches me.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
