I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
