He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
