summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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