i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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