If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize