This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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