I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize