so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He better not be in your backpack
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
