My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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