Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
