Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
