I want to walk on stilts...naked
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
