Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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