similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
