Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
