i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
