He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
