but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize