so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Say something about gay babies.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize