the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
