We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He passed out mid-signature
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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